Oh the unimaginable horror!
John Beyer would be Media Studies teacher!
Lol!
From the Guardian:
Read all about it! The Daily Mail school
Polly Curtis, education editor
Saturday November 24, 2007
The Guardian
From used car salesmen and carpet magnates to proselytising
evangelical Christians, the sponsors of the government’s academies
programme have always been an eclectic bunch.
But now this distinctly ecumenical church is about to get even
broader. The chairman of the Daily Mail – that upstanding champion
of morality in an era of declining values, as its leader columns
might put it – is set to bring the paper’s unique world view to an
inner city school.
Jonathan Harmsworth, aka the 4th Viscount Rothermere, is in talks
with a senior government education adviser to sponsor an academy
close to the paper’s head office in Kensington, west London, the
Guardian has learned.
The deal would give the hereditary boss of a media empire that
includes the top-selling, staunchly conservative Daily Mail and Mail
on Sunday, as well as the London Evening Standard, control of the
school and, in return for a £2m one-off payment, powers to design
the curriculum and the right to hire and fire staff.
The Mail has been critical of the academy programme in the past,
documenting allegations that the schools’ results are not
accelerating to meet the ambition of ministers, worries that the
construction of new school buildings have gone over-budget and
evidence of covert selection.
Rothermere previously shelved plans to set up a string of five
academies, apparently because executives within the trust feared it
would compromise the papers’ ability to criticise the government.
Now the plan has been revived on a smaller scale with his grant-
making charity, the Rothermere Foundation, ready to back one school
with a partner.
Sir Cyril Taylor, the influential head of the Specialist Schools and
Academies Trust, said: “He has in principal agreed to support [a
school] with a partner in north Kensington. There is no site yet. He
wanted to do more but thought it might jeopardise them editorially.
I don’t know why; it would be a charitable act.”
Taylor said a number of partners for the Rothermere Academy were
being discussed, but he did not reveal who they might be. He is
personally acquainted with Rothermere; their grandfathers attended
the same grammar school.
So what will the Daily Mail-backed academy look like? Seasoned
readers might expect a traditional style: daily drilling of the
times tables and spelling tests, lessons in abstinence to replace
sex education and compulsory home economics, for girls, at least.
Whole terms could be spent studying the glory days of empire and
vigorous playground games would challenge the tyranny of health and
safety legislation. Flintoff-style appearances in tattoo-revealing
vests would presumably breach school rules.
Certainly the school will be on the most watched list, with every
appointment and result scrutinised by the papers’ rivals. Inevitably
the headlines will ask: Could the Daily Mail Academy harm your
child’s education?
Academies are now at the heart of the government and opposition’s
education plans. The Conservatives this week promised to introduce
more wherever there is demand from parents to provide up to 220,000
places. The government has promised 200 by 2010; there are currently
83 open. Ministers have recently attempted to steer the image of the
schools’ sponsors away from philanthropic millionaires in favour of
universities and private schools sharing their academic knowhow.
The National Union of Teachers, which is vehemently opposed to
academies, condemned the move. “What would a Daily Mail academy
teach,” said Steve Sinnott, its general secretary. “The mind
boggles. The academies programme is now unplanned and operating a
scattergun approach when it comes to sponsors. Anyone can run an
academy now.”
Last night, Vyvyan Harmsworth, the Rohermere Foundation’s secretary,
said the charity had not discussed plans to sponsor a school.
Sir Cyril Taylor, meanwhile, said that one other media company, the
Pearson group, which owns the Financial Times, had recently inquired
about backing an academy specialising in finance in the capital. He
added: “Why not the Guardian?”
God morning children I am John Beyer your Media Studies teacher. For
your first lesson we are going to look at the evils of porn and how
we should all be crusading to get the dirty filthy bastards who look
at it looked up for three years at her Majesty’s pleasure.
Tommorow we will be focusing on how the media are responsible for
all the ills in society and how we should blame TV, films and video
games for everything from teenage pregnacy to gun and knife crime.
On Wednesday I will be teaching you why it’s important to stop TV
shows saying Jesus and Christ in a nasty way.
On Thursday I will teach you the art of winging about things on TV
that you haven’t seen and making sure you get an outraged quote in
the tabloid press, especially in our sponsors the Daily Mail.
On Friday I will get you all in the mood for the weekend with
relaxing lessons on how to spend all weekend seeking out filth on
Channel 4 and then how to write letters to Ofcom demanding that this
corrupting spawn of saton be closed down never to darken our
airwaves again!
